Big Boobed and Braless

I have always hated bras, they're hot and they're tight and I live in FNQ so this is makes it even worse with the under boob sweat and chafing. I have always also been envious of women with smaller breasts because of the clothing options they have and them being able to not wear bras. Although, recently I have thought, "fuck it" and decided that regardless of what others think about large boobed women going braless I am going to.

I am a size 10E, so my boobs are quite large so going braless isn't something I ever really considered due to the fact that I desperately need the support when I go out. It has been difficult finding outfits that flatter me without bras. I bought this denim dress (similar available here) the other day and realized with great joy that I can easily wear it without a bra with it still looking good and quite becoming and not being to obvious that I am not wearing anything underneath. I have also gone through my clothes and found a few other outfits that I can comfortably wear when freeballing.

So what I've happily realized is that regardless of breast size any woman can go braless and about her day comfortably, without lingering stares and also feel comfortable when she finds the right clothes and outfits that flatters her and lets the girls chill  easily and snugly.

2016

I'm disgusted that I haven't made a single post yet in 2016 so this is an update of what I'm doing with myself right now and my plans for this year. Once again I am using this platform as a way to help myself sort through my thoughts - even though it would still be cool for others to read it and add a comment or even relate to something but anyway;

Update 1: This is my first ever year as an adult. I turn 18 in early April and I am low key terrified. I've waited for years to become a legal adult and experience the freedom that comes with this new title. But, with this freedom come a shit load of responsibility. I am now solely responsible for myself and everything I do, my life, my future, my education, my living situations, my relationships etc. So this is a large thing that has been at the forefront of my mind so far this year and I am not looking forward to, but also am looking forward to confronting that fear of my impending adulthood. I have mixed feeling about aging.

Update 2: I decided to defer for a year from university. This was a decision I made for three reasons.

1. I want to just experience life without structure. If that makes sense. I have been in school for essentially my whole life and I think it will be cool to be able to dictate the time I do everything (excluding work obviously) and be able to plan my life around when I want to do things. I'm not sure I explained this reason very well but anyway that's reason 1. 
2. I wanted to try and earn enough money to move out and support myself without having to reply on my parental or Centrelink. I know I can get money to support myself while living away from home and studying, but I wanted to try and do as much for myself as I can, by myself. My parents can't support me living away so I would be completely dependent on money from the government and I just would rather try to do it myself as best I can first. So far though, not so good. Not many shifts at work at the moment so I've begun looking at different options (options that don't relate to this reason for the decision currently being discussed). 
3. I want to be sure that what I'm going to school to study, is what I want to study. When you're in school you are constantly bombarded by speeches of "you need to make the right life choice right now". So as soon as you express your interest in a certain university course teachers and parents latch onto that and drill its magnificence into you whenever they can. It is because of this that I want a year just working and probably wasting a lot of time to really be sure that it is what I do want not what I've been told that I want.

Update 3: Friendships and other relationships have so far become very scarce in my life at the moment. At this time I am really trying to focus on myself. Doing various online courses such as my RSA, RSG and my food service 1. I'm looking for another job, I'm looking at other pathways of education and careers, I'm looking at places to live and I'm trying to improve on myself. But I do realize that now I am no longer in school and seeing these people everyday I do need to put in more effort in contacting them and hanging out than I previously had to.  

And so, these are the three main things happening in my life at this time. The typical stuff for people my age to be going through I'd assume. But anyway this is my first post in 2016 and although I would have liked it to be more interesting this is all I've go right now. With my abundance of free time I'm hoping to get more into this blogging and online thing this year, even though I have said this many times. 

"Propaganda"

This artwork "Propaganda" is an acrylic on paper painting. I was inspired for this artwork when I found myself reading up on carrier pigeons and how they have been used for hundreds of years to carry messages - especially during war time. While I was researching this I was also looking into Nazi Germany and the way propaganda and terror were used in the totalitarian state to gain and maintain control. The power and effectiveness of propaganda is very interesting and I found myself doing quite a bit of research on it, not only its use by Gobbles during Nazi control, but in other countries as well during war time, advertisement, political campaigns, protests etc. 

The idea of propaganda still being prominent in society was the main inspiration for this artwork. The background is a collage of different propaganda pieces, representing that propaganda is all around as in our everyday lives. The bird on my shoulder is a pigeon representing the sending of massages and how the government and teachers and other forces of influence are singing lies and propaganda into our ears at all times - because it is a representation of propaganda that is is painted grey to blend in and look like a part of the background. In the first artwork I am listening to the bird, showing myself being influenced by the lies I'm being told. The second artwork shows me turning my head away from the bird - representing me no longer listening to what the bird has to say. The bird still rests on my shoulder even though I am not listening to it, representing the constant present of propaganda, that even though we choose not to listen it is still there regardless. The figure (myself) does not have any clothes on, displaying the rawness of the human physic and how vulnerable we as humans can be. That we are often bare against the onslaught of outward influences trying to manipulate us.  

I am very proud of this artwork, I enjoy the way is looks and I feel as though it clearly displays the meaning I intended when molding the idea and creating the artwork. I don't often do paintings, especially with acrylic paint, but I did really enjoy this artwork. I plan on doing more pieces like this in the future. 

Cairns shopping and a 21st

          

              

Spent three days in Cairns with my friend and her family to attend a 21st birthday party, (hence the toga). The three days were incredibly hot and due to my lack of self control I am now very, very broke. This is even more devastating because, excitedly, I am going to Brisbane for two weeks in 8 days. Need to start getting all the shifts at work that I can to repair the damage I did this weekend.

Shoes from Famous Footwear, sunglasses similar here, black crop top - similar here, shorts similar here, stockings from Target , Jewelry from Factorie, colorful dress from Instagram.

Done and Dusted

I graduated high school two days ago, meaning that my entire 12 years of schooling have finally come to an end. It really hasn't sunk in yet that my childhood has essentially ended and that I'm about to be thrust into adult hood.

The next step in my life right now is to decide what I'm going to do, at least for the next couple of years. I've applied for university and for now I intend to defer for a year to stay at home working for an extra year to save up and get the final hours I need to get my P's and be able to move out the following year and go to uni then - while living in Cairns. 

While I have this plan that I know will work for me, it is a little disheartening to see so many of my friends going off to uni or to work, confident in what they want to do. To see so many people I've been schooling with for the past 4 years move away is weird. It's weird  to see my life changing so drastically in only a short few months in the upcoming new year. Fingers crossed I won't loose focus and get stuck where I am.

I've begun thinking of what else I can do with my time as a fresh adult and I've singled in on a couple of TAFE courses I can do over the year, which is good and productive of me. That being said I am also thinking of finally doing some of the more creative things I've been wanting to do but never had time for really. Painting and doing more art has been one thing on that list, learning pottery (if that's the correct way to phrase that I'm unsure), write more - story wise or on here either one, do some photography because I have always wanted to be one of those people who are good at photography and also start a YouTube channel and make videos. All these are things that I have been longing to do for a few years and have always pushed aside because "school is more important" and I needed to be completely focused on finishing and now that I have I can do everything - in theory. My creativity is something that I would like spend this upcoming year learning to channel into different things.

Well this is my life conundrum right now. High school and essentially my childhood are done and dusted and now all I have to do is figure out what I'm doing with this next year...and my life. 

Formal 2015

My grade 12 formal and graduation have occurred over that last two days and it has been incredibly overwhelming to say the least. An entire chapter of my life is closing, my life as I've known it for the past 12 years has ended. At least these past 12 years have ended with everyone looking stunning 

Dress, vintage velvet dress from the 70s - similar dress here, choker Little Patch Creations, plugs Defiant Jewelry, clutch from Target - similar clutch here, shoes from Famous Footwear and stockings from Bras 'N Things 

PRODUCT REVIEW

I've begun splurging on myself a little bit lately, buying things I normally wouldn't because I'm generally a cheap ass and have a strict opinion on how much something is worth, and how much I should spend on it. But like I said, lately I've been indulging myself. Trying new brands of things that are slightly more expensive. Two of these things have been tea and chocolate. Both things that I really enjoy but don't usually don't spend all that much money on.

This tea (above) has become my favorite thing. It is not caffeinated so I can drink it whenever, and it won't keep me up at night which is amazing. It has a very intense aroma that smells slightly like cinnamon, not so much like caramel which is odd, but it has an intoxicating smell that really took me off guard when I brewed it for the first time. I noticed the other day, (because I've had a cold the past few days and can not smell anything) that without the smell the tea doesn't have a very strong taste, so the smell of the tea plays a huge role in its taste. The taste itself is not overly sweet, but defiantly has a flavor of caramel. The caramel is not overwhelming which is good because I personally don't really like things that are too sweet, but the caramel is still noticeable and quite enjoyable. Overall I really enjoy this tea and I am looking forward to buying some other flavors made by this brand. Defiantly going to repurchase.

This chocolate (above) is also something that I've caved in and bought myself. It is $5 for only 100g which is why before now I hadn't bought it because I can buy other brands with more chocolate for a cheaper price. That being said, I've always been draw to the simple clear packaging and amusing, unique names of the bars. Each different flavor has it's own funny, punny title and I love how witty and interesting they are. The appearance of the chocolate bars were that main thing that drew me in and finally hooked me into buying one. Although, now that I've tried it, it has become my favorite chocolate. It is creamy and flavorsome and has a richer taste than brands like Cadbury. I am defiantly going to buy it again in the future, and I'm excited to taste all the other flavors. 

As you can see in the photos I've already opened and tried both the tea and the chocolate because I didn't feel the need to blog about them until after I tried them. The great taste of both of them as well as the beautiful packaging compelled me to make a post about it. The moral of this post is that its okay to indulge yourself sometimes because you may find new things you love. That's all I have to say about this tea and chocolate really, but I may make more of these in the future about any products that really stand out to me so be excited for those I guess. Let me know if there is anything you've recently fallen in love with or that you've tried for the first time, I'd love to know.